Yellow VS Green
by ApolloIV
Summary: This is the weirdest story under Halo. It is now done, finally.
1. Meet the teams and other people that don

Sir-Dik-Dik is back

You could care less.

MY grammar stinks.

To all the people how are tired of R VS B fics I give Yellow Vs Green.

Chapter1, get to know the teams and other people that don't matter.

Hello to all of my friends and maybe people that will actually like this story, after a long six months, or what it feels like, I have a new fic. This is inspired by my Personal favorite game of all time HALO2. I have played a 16 person frag fest and it's not rivaled by anything, maybe the Sim's2, but that's it. The characters in this story are the after math of this long and unnecessary intro. Halfway through the story and I finally realize that I need a disclaimer, I don't own Halo, Bungie does and I wish I had Red VS. Blue but I don't nor the Yellow team and Green team even though they are my creations. May I add this NO FLAMES ON GRAMMAR PLEASE and note the third sentence on the top left hand corner

It has been three months scene the death of the red team by the really freaky suicide bomb of the blue team to wipe out the red base. They drove the warthog in the red base, in blood gulge sorry if I spelt it wrong, then they planted a frag grenade to kill the rest of the team if they weren't dead already. What they weren't expecting was for the Red team to be on the roof and so they picked them off all but one that got in the back door which was a ramp, threw a grenade, and saw them die. Well three of them did, the third one had no shield and one health icon, so did the last member of the blue team. They both played a brutal contest of not blinking. Neither could tell if the other one blinked but the match went on and on and on and on until they called it a draw. With not wanting to play for the grand prize, freedom from each other and decided to form new teams, yellow and green.

The Yellow team.

The yellow team is a five-man team just like the green team here is my attempt to give you a watered down version so I can have PG-13 rating.

999jjjkiller, The leader of the group and is hated by everyone. The only reason he is in charge is because everyone else is scared of him. The body model was an Elite colored red and white with a smiley face login with an X through it. Favorite weapon is the Beam cannon. History, X-Elite captain after shooting 18 teammates in the man berries. Thinks life isn't wroth living if he has to live with young children or another reality TV show. Hates everyone but his Grandmother, why I don't know for sure.

Leon, Secondary gun man that is troubled by the sound of shuffling feet and Dairy products. The smell of a meat freezer make him have panic attacks. Kicked off the Spartan team after having a nervous break down when a McDonalds commercial came on, for the eighth time. Favorite weapon is dual SMGs. Playing style, Car jacking. Thinks that meat is the enemy and the covenant was under the influence of meat. Whishes to run naked through a wide-open field with a cow?? Armor is Sage with a Metallic polish its symbol is a red ninja.

Gyra, A Geek that still draws stick figure nudity. Picked for the team cause we couldn't think of a better person to have guard the wall. Favorite weapon, battle rifle. Playing style, sniping. Kicked off the Spartan army because they found disturbing stick figure pictures. Thinks that the Japanese will rule the US, and he wants any YU-GI-OH cards you have. Will be used to guard the flag or sit there and do nothing. Armor is Blue and a yellow polish with a dragon sign.

Will kill4 shoes, An Ex-Spartan that fell all the way to the bottom and is really really poor. Picked cause he kills for "shoes" and that is cool. Favorite weapon is duel magnums. Playing style is bait taker. Thinks that anyone can achieve anything with a few good rounds of the magnum. Kicked off the army cause... we don't know. Armor is orange with a yellow tint and symbol is a blue zero.

Master Baiter, Is a Spartan that is on vacation and some how gets mixed up with these people. Chosen to be bait so Will Kill4 Shoes can shoot that person. Favorite weapon is the brute shot. Thinks all people should sacrifice themselves for other people, I just do it more then most. Playing style is sacrificial bait. Likes fish and company. Hates war, sex, drugs, and rock music. What the hell is he thinking? Armor is yellow and a black tint with a frown with a circle around it.

The Green Team

T-bone, A good old Texas native that hates the covenant and loves his mommy. He holds the Guinness World Book of Records for the most I LOVE MOM tattoos with thirty-six all over his body, funny being the current record was seven. For having all these tattoos he was kicked off the Spartan squad. Favorite weapon, is duel plasma riffles. Thinks that your mama jokes destroy young people's minds not violent video games. Personal hates Hunters. Playing style, duck and cover and shoot. Armor yellow with outer rim orange with purple 6 with an X behind it.

Super size Me, An over weight Spartan that loves fast food and was kicked off because he was obese. Uses a small arena to his advantage by being able to take more damage than run away. Favorite weapon is the fuel rod cannon. Playing style, berserk. Thinks that video games are all to blame and he will kill all of you. Whishes to lose twenty pounds to weigh 2343 pounds in his armor. Wear gray armor with a hamburger as his logo.

The Closet is my Home, the not so, cough, straight member of the team. Is a first day Spartan that dropped out to go clothes shopping. Likes bright colors that don't scream I'm Gay! Favorite weapon, dual needlers to shot people in the butt. Playing style, risk taker. Thinks that all people should respect the way I'm. Which is true Whishes that all people will get along keep dreaming. Armor is Pink with a whit outline.

Soul brotha', Is the first ever pimp allowed in the Spartan unit. Still hasn't been fired even after breaking eighty-three rules against drugs and crude and vulgar language. Favorite weapon, Dual machine guns. Playing style is Hood style. Thinks that beep, beep, beep mother beepers. Likes big butts and he can't lie don't own that either. Whishes to make a rap album. Armor is black with a big green G on the side.

Why bother I'm blind, A good friend of mine in real life along with all these other people slightly exaggerated to make them funny, Is a one eyed sniper. Was a Spartan Elite Sniper or SES, as it will be called. Got kicked off because he lost his in a weird but funny pirate accident. Favorite weapon is well the human sniper riffle. Playing style is one-eyed snipping. We could not get any more info on this person but his armor, All brown and green to be like camouflage. Has a Hello kitty emblem on his arm. Which I don't own.

Now for the people giving you coverage form here in the both.

Sir-Dik-Dik, An average kid that likes to make jokes and loves HALO2. Also loves fan fiction the rest you can read my friggin Bio. I have all orange armor

Master Beef, all we know is he likes cheese ?? He has blue in this story.

Now for the game.

The two teams will play at Beaver creek off of Halo two. If you've played Battle Creek you know what it is. They will be playing All out, a custom game that I made. It is a mod to slayer in where the vehicles are random, weapons random, and style points are awarded for special task are preformed. The first to 25 kills wins the round, first to three rounds wins. Tie breakers will be broken by style points. See you on the battlefield next chapter peace till later.

So that is the end of chapter one. What did you think? If the lines are all screwed up it's because of my computer. The first round is dedicated to you master Beef.


	2. first Blood and Butterflies

Sir-Dik-Dik is present

What can I say?

I love you!

Note In chapter one I told you their favorite weapon, that is the weapon they have until further notice. No actual butterflies where hurt in this chapter.

I dedicate this chapter to my Friend Xavier that has just moved, which sucks.

Hello anyone that reviewed the first chapter and is here sticking it out for chapter 2 is in for a real treat. This chapter will be ten times better than chapter one. This is where they actually fight. I will be telling most of the action with my friend Master Beef! I will occasionally switch to what the two teams are saying. Disclaimer, I don't own anything Halo related or in that fact except anything at all, not even me! Now for the chapter! PS, Master Beef likes more things than cheese. He said he likes Halo2 like me. Maybe they will make Halo2 cheese?

Part one of round one of match one of game one, First blood…and butterflies.

"As we start round one would you like to say to our viewers Master Beef?" I asked "Yes, I want freakn' cheese what don't you understand?" He replied. "I don't know about you but I'm getting excited and Go fetch me a drink please." I politely asked. "Well you said please so okay." Replied Master Beef.

Yellow camp

"All right guys here's the plan, kill them all." 999jjjkiller announced in a

proud and approving voice. "Who put you in charge?" Asked Gyra.

Everyone knew that was the wrong question. 999JJJkiller pulls out his

beam cannon, AKA covenant sniper riffles, and shoots him in the

balls. Gyra gets on his knees and grabs his you-know-what. His

shield was all gone but that little bit that lets you live. "Stay here until

your wound heal, I got a job to do." Said 999JJJkiller. Again Gyra was

going to say something, but just at that moment 999jjjkiller pulled out

his beam cannon and took aim for Super Size Me's ass.

Green camp.

"All right mother beepers kill all beeping five of them." Soul Brotha'

told the rest of them. "Who put you in charge?" Asked Super Size Me.

Everyone looked at Soul Brotha'. In two short words he answered

this, "Your Mama!" T-bone turns furiously around and hits both of them

on the head. "Your Mamas love you both, how could you talk to her

like that." T-bone complains to his two teammates. Simple mother

beeper, like this, does some obscene and vulgar sings along with

some swearing and rapping afterward. T-bone goes and cries in the

corner for awhile then Why bother I'm blind goes up to him, "Don't

worry they don't mean it." Then T-bone cries even harder on his

shoulder which makes no sense cause all this was all being drained

into the fluid system in his helmet along with the waste system in the

back. My Home is the Closet thinks of a plane not to attack them but

to look at Soul Brotha's butt. He drops a quarter on the floor and

was about to ask him to pick it up, when Super Size Me puts his big

ass in the open and Bang! Bang! He drops dead on the floor.

"Nooooo!" T-bone cries some more. That's it, it's go time , pulls out

dual Plasma Riffles. Both teams jump from up top of the buildings into

the river. Both teams looked at each other in hatred, weapons drawn.

On the count of three. Called out Leon. One… two… three. Both

teams drawled their weapons and started to fire. Soul Brotha' took out

Leon but not before Leon shot down Why bother I'm blind with a

grenade and by accident shooting a randomly placed ghost and it

blew up in My Home is the Closet's face. After two long minutes of

bloodshed all teams were dead. Waiting for them to respond we go

to Sir-dik-dik and Master Beef.

In the booth.

"Man oh man what a match." Said Sir-dik-dik, AKA the word "I"

when I speak in first person. "You're right and I hope it gets even

bloodier." Said MB. "Amen to that!" Replied SDD with a tip of his

hat. "You've claimed down some from what you were in the begining

of the match." I looked at Master Beef. "Yhea I got cheese." Retorted

MB, no thanks to you.

Well we will give you the score and leave you to them. Yellow, 12.

Green 9.

Yellow camp

"Okay guys and bait, that last plain didn't work so great, so we will

become strategic." Announces 999jjjkiller. Everyone moans. "Suck it

up, it's the only we will win." Sir Yes Sir! Everyone replied. Okay,

here's how will do it, first me and Gyra will snipe and provide back up

fire for anyone that requires it. Will kill4 shoes will sneak around the

back take out as many as we possibly can. Now for the hard part Leon

and Master Baiter will go down the opining up front, when you get

behind the last corner Leon will strap a plasma grenade on you and run

toward the enemy. May I not stress that enough Master Baiter. Leon

kill what's left. If all fails we got them, hear me guys?" Sir yes Sir! In

less then two minutes the base started to shake and the sound of tires

where outside their base…

End of part one of round one of match one of game one, first blood and butterflies. Just kidding.

"Come out with your hands behind your back." Called Why bother I'm blind. "And bent over," added My home is the

closet. "Shut the beep up," yelled Soul Brotha'. "Where.. Where did

you guys come from?" Shuttered. 999jjjkiller. "Well from our moms and

daddies, someone flunked Health class" Why bother I'm blind added.

He knew that this turn in the match was freaking him out. "Hey where is

the rest of your team?" Asked soul Brotha'. "I only see two and unless

I went beeping crazy you got more." In the really long pause where

999jjjkiller tied to say something that wouldn't get them killed, "Umm

there in the bathroom." 999jjjkiller replied. "All of them?" Asked Soul

Brotha' with a raised eyebrow, well if I could see it. "They… they uh

drank some lemonade and now they have to pee." Snapped

999jjjkiller. "Oh really, can we have some"? Asked why bother I'm

blind. "We're out replied a shaky voice." It was Gyra in the corner with

a big wet spot in his armor. "Make some more." demanded My home

is the closet. "Well I see you guys had some trouble getting over here."

Said 999jjjkiller. "Who told you?" asked Soul Brotha' looking over to

Why Bother I'm blind. No one replied. "I just noticed that

your car was ruined." "Oh yes the car was dealt some serious damage

on the way here I wouldn't mind telling you this over a cup of water.

Smiled soul Brotha'." Okay let me go to the stream and get us some.

Without anyone noticing he switched from a beam cannon to the rocket launcher.

Leon and Master Baiter.

"All right people, well Master Baiter, it's time to do

this, were going to get on top of the big arch and were going to invade"

"You mean I go in and you put a Grande on me and I run in on them

and kill them?" Asked Master Baiter with a large amount of sarcasm.

"Yes, well I hate it too but if I can live a real life it's worth it." Leon said

solemnly, I will live in a world were the cows really can be killed. Leon

said quiet cheerfully. "Wait get down here comes someone." They both

laid down as the warthog passed full of the green team. Leon and

Mater Baiter used both of their dual weapons to try to blow the car up.

It nearly worked until the turret stated to shoot. They both jumped off

the side of the narrow archway onto the top of the opponent's base.

Finally they gave up shooting. Leon and Master Baiter were now safely

inside the base but what they found was nothing but disturbing.

All right that is the real ending of the chapter. Sorry it wasn't all that like I promised. I decided to leave the butterfly idea until part two. I would like to thank Master Beef for totally ripping me off, just kidding. Thanks to NASA trooper, sorry if I got your name wrong, I take it you liked chapter one and your joke was quite funny. So peace till later. PS I have to thank My buddy Taylor hat edited the story to an extant and Hallenatroy is slang for HE double hockey sticks.


	3. The death of Yellow team and the ressura...

Sir-dik-dik is hot and sweaty.

So steamy and hot.

And he needs to bathe after that run.

Note to all my People that liked chapter one, two. I don't say F because I try to keep it clean and PG-13 so I can write some funny things with crude humor. Also please If your name has a curse word please just reviewed unsigned under a cleaner name, Yes Dik Dik is a nasty name if you are a perverted fourteen year old that still drools over the sight of a girl in a min-skirt. PS, no swearing in your Reviews.

Hello anybody that has read my story and is now is here to read some more. Thank god I get some to write some Fanfiction. I do love to write and write, oh wait I'm rambling. I'm writing this piece of Fanfiction on Thanksgiving so what's more appropriate than to have a list of what I'm thankful for: Video games, MTV, MTV2, G4tech TV, My family, The troops in the military like my brother, The land I live on, and anything Else I have ever had and The ability to write this piece of Fanfiction, also to read yours. I wish you all a happy, late, Thanksgiving and enjoy my Disclaimer, I don't own anything not even the new character, Bungie owns everything. I own only five percent of my soul; Satan owns the other ninety-five. So here is the new chapter,

Part two of match one of round one of game one, The death and resurrection.

Recap,

Okay we left the Yellow team's 999jjjkiller and Gyra cornered by a turret wielding, green team, warthog. Lucky for 999jjjkiller he was sent to get water and is now planing to blow the living poop out of them. Leon and Master Baiter were now inside the Green base and ready to kill them all. But something in the base had them scared. Where's Will kill4 shoes? What has happened to the other team and why the hellenatroy is the warthog in such crappy condition?

Green base, last chapter

"Mother Beepers come have a listen before I fill you with led, said, well you

can probably guess by now, " we will make them pay for what happened back

at the river." "Sir what do we do about … all of a sudden interrupting T-bone's

sentence there was a large crash and the sound of shocks bouncing. "All right

my Pimped out Warthog is here." Exclaimed a happy Soul Brotha' like a little

kid inside a candy shop with twenty dollars that he stole. Every one rushed out

to see it, but instead it was just a regular old warthog. " BEEEP" shouted an

upset Soul Brotha'. "I'm calling X to the M Xmigdet." An angry Soul Brotha'

muttered to himself. He pulled out his futuristic cell phone that oddly resembled

the Xbox Live headset. After a few rings he gets an answering machine, "Hello,

you have reached East Coast Customs if you would like to place an order press

one, if you would like to pick up a machine press two, if your pissed off

press three and leave a message after the beep." Takes his armor plated finger

and looks all over it, "Where the beeping hell is the three?" asked Soul Brotha'

about to lose his already lost cool. He hit the three and waited for the beep to

happen. After an incredibly long pause there was a short beep. "Hey where the

bloody Beep is my Beeping Warthog, If you don't get here soon I will shove

my twenty-eight and a half size armor plated foot up your ass." An almost

shouting Soul Brotha' well shouted. Just then the phone was picked up by none

other than X to the M Xmidget. "Hey homey waz' up, still waitin' on that

warthog huh?" Xmidget stuttered, "Well about that, it's not looking so good…

"WHAT THE BEEP DID YOU GUYS DO TO MY BABY BIACH'?"

Screamed Soul' Brotha'. "Calm down dog, I will get it fixed, let me come over

aight'? asked Xmidget. "Okay, haul ass and get over here quick okay?"

Reminded Soul Brotha'.

Five minutes later.

Xmidget comes cruising around in a green pimped out ghost. At this very

Moment Will kill4 shoes sees it and jumps at the moment to help out his team

by trying to jack it. He runs over to the back of the pimped out ghost, grabs

a hold of the back of the sixty inch speakers and taps on Xmidget's shoulder

and draws back his leg. You should have have seen Xmidget's face, he looked

like a scared little elf, an elf with a long strand of weed in his mouth. Will kill4

shoes noticed this piece of weed, kicks him in a nerve in his jaw where he

opened his mouth and Will kill4 shoes garbed the weed and he banged his

head in to the steering wheel. Xmidget with a bloody face fell out of his ghost

and then was farted on by Will kill4 shoes, why, I don't know. He tried to

accelerate but all he got was the sixty-inch speakers to turn on. "He freaking'

took out the accelerators for speakers, what the hell?" asked a confused and

disappointed Will kill4 shoes. He was confused because he had no clue to

smoke weed with his helmet on and was never was given instructions to take it

off. But somehow a towel got off his rack and came to help Will kill4 shoes.

South Park reference " Oh so you want to get high, okay let me help, he

took off helmet and let's have a smoke." Whispered the little towel. Will Kill4

Shoes got the weed in his mouth and the world started to spin, great flowers

grew, the air was as sweet as sugar and everything looked like it was under

water. He got back in the car and drove towards the other team's base.

In the Booth.

Master beef was watching the match while Sir-Dik-Dik played the Sims 2.

"Stop playing that damn game and help me commentate!" Complained Master

Beef. "Wait, I'm getting some so leave me be." Replied Sir-dik-dik still glued

to the PC's screen. Then master Beef got up with a pickaxe and was about to

hit the computer but his leg was pulled out from him and he was upside down.

"I figured you would do this Master Beef." Sir-dk-dik said in quiet a serious

tone. "Just playing man here you said that you had to use the bathroom earlier

so here are the keys." Master Beef took the keys and sneaked into the kitchen

and then took the cheese from the refrigerator and came back. Master Beef

had cheese and Sir-dik-dik had the Sims 2 and everyone was happy.

Back at the green camp

Will Kill4 Shoes was high, and wasn't about to let that stop him from driving

into their base. He drove in and fell passed out their floor. T-bone turned

around and noticed that he was lying down. "Guys, Guys there is a person in

our base." He announced happily. "T-bone and Super Size Me I want you two

to take care of him." Ordered Soul Brotha'. This would soon come back to

bite them later but that is a different story for another time. "Why Bother I'm

Blind and My home is the closet come with me, we got some unfinished

business to well finish." Commanded Soul Brotha'.

Back at the Yellow camp present.

"So why is the Warthog a mess?" asked Gyra. "Well Super size me wanted to

operate the turret and when he jumped on, the beeping thing flipped over."

Replied Soul Brotha'. "Well how would you like to be rocket fodder?"

999jjjkiller asked a rather one sided question but heck when you got a rocket

launcher you can do anything. He fired at the warthog and it made contact. All

three teammates died in a large blaze. But 999jjjkiller did not expect a tire to

bounce at him and lodge it self into his head. He died but for some reason could

not respond. Now the Yellow team was screwed and had to find a replacement

quick or they would be disqualified. As the sound of the Pac-Man ambulance

came closer the team started to panic but some freaky-ass angle smiled on them

that day because all of a sudden a kilt wearing Spartan jumped out of the

mountain crevasse. "I'm your new back up you little queers." Exclaimed this

new character.

Up in the booth,

"Oh no," moaned a worried Sir-Dik-Dik. "What is it, Sim got fired?" Asked

Master Beef. " No I was looking to see what the Hellenatroy was going down

there and then my Sim got fired." Answered SDD. "Well what's going on

asked Master Beef. "Well see 999jjkiller shot the warthog most of the green

team was in but a tire hit him in the head and he is now in a comma and he is

ineligible to fight and with out a full team they can't win." Paused SDDMy

name is too long to write every time. "Sucks to be them doesn't it?" asked

Master Beef. "Well this is where it gets interesting, they got a new recruit, but

it's my friend Tayter." Finished SDD. "Well what is he like?" asked Maser

Beef. SDD goes into his desk and pulls out a stack of papers and hands Master

Beef a Bio,

Name, Tayter. Likes to act like Fat Bastard. Thinks that has never had any corn in his life, filthy liar. Favorite weapon is the Brute shot. Hates sexy English men that say Yhea Baby and subs. Playing style is angry Scottish person. Wishes to have the Linkin Park CD and hates it that SDD won't let him have it. Armor is green with red stripes and has a bagpipe for his symbol.

"Ohh that is weird." Master Beef added. "Yes but the yellow team is in

trouble, 999JJJkiller was the only sane person on that team." SDD

added. He saves his Sim and turns the computer off and looks over to Master

Beef. Master Beef looks blankly at him and then says, "Are you going to watch

now?" "No I'm taking a nap." SDD told Master Beef. Score Yellow 14 to

Green 10.

Back to Leon and Master Baiter.

Last time we left them at the back mouth of the other teams base in horror.

Let's see what the freakishly disturbing thing is. Leon looked down the pipe

entrance of the base. Large amounts of smoke emitted for the entrance and little

smoke butterflies came out along with the laughs of the people inside. One of

the people were non other than Will Kill4 Shoes. They both charged in to find

Super size me, T-bone and Will kill4 Shoes on the floor all of them high and

laughing. "You want to get high?" a little towel asked them with red eyes.

"No we don't want to get high!" replied an angry Leon who then took out his

dual SMGs and blew the living crap out of him. Master Baiter came and

dragged Will kill4 shoes out of the base. Leon then chucked a grenade down

where the other team was and in less than three seconds there was a loud

explosion and the announcer presented them style awards, Double kill, One

Shot wonder and you widened the lead. Just before they were about to

celebrate someone came behind them. "Surprise Beepers." Soul Brotha' raised

his dual SMGs. There was a loud bang and a body dropped. It was Gyra he

had been shot in the head by Why Bother I'm Blind with his Sniper rifle. Just

then My Home is the closet came out with win neederlers and filled his right arm

with a few sharpened crystals. He let out a yelp of pain as the needles burst. A

few drops of blood hit the floor and Leon thought it was over. But just like last

time some cruel angel made a large turn in events. "We have the disqualification

of Will kill4 shoes for using and selling of illegal drugs." Sir-Dik-Dik announced

over the intercom. "We shall replace him with St.Timmy." Master

Beef announced.

Name St.Timmy. A drug addict fifteen year old that loves novocaine. His life story is comedy and tragedy. Thinks that novocaine is better than air. Favorite weapons are dual Magnums. Playing style, what every the hell he feels like doing. Hates everybody. Armor is Yellow and black so he blends in with penguins, his symbol is a dog??

"Well this is getting to be a pretty big crowd isn't it?" asked Master

Beef. "No because it's all the same size it has always been." SDD corrected

him. "Well are you going to watch the match?" Asked Master Beef pretty

annoyed. "Nope I just got a girl in the shower and my Sim is about to make out

with the cleaning lady and I'll have a son!" SDD said quiet proudly.

End of Chapter three. Thank God!

Okay I have finished this ridiculous chapter in three hours and twenty-five minutes. That does not count editing. If you are wondering about the chapter, I don't own Saint Timmy, Green day does,Even thought the real name for it is St.Jimmy, but I don't want to risk it. No that wasn't a stab at Pimp My Ride which MTV owns. I have to thank any and all who reviewed, I have to thank all the people that let me use there Halo2 tag for a character. Yes all these people have volunteered to be a character. Thanks to Master Beef that extended his profile to ten words or more. Now I know hat you're a teen just like me. Please when you review have some manners please! If your unsigned please don't be a nasty name I really think you have absolute no manners. I don't mean to sound like your parents or for that fact anyone else but my parents read most of my reviews but and I was barley able to sneak last couple of peoples reviews, you know of whom I'm talking about. Also thanks to Tayter that is editing my stories except chapter1. So until next time Peace0)


	4. The End, Megachapter

Sir-dik-dik is now the proud owner I'm the owner Tayter, you're only a pawn. Just kidding. of SDD-T. What is it? I will never tell.

Saw Three Days Grace, They freaking' rocked. They changed guitars about every other song because they rocked hard.

Hey everybody I'm back with chapter 4 of YVG. Happy? I know you would. If you every want to see more chapters, please ask more people to give this a chance. I want to thank Tayter, Master beef and anybody that reviewed! It will be no different nor will it have perfect grammar. After about an hour of being bicthed at and waking up from the American dream, I'm now I am really ready to write something. I am writing this before I even posted chapter three. I do hope this is the best/funniest chapter in this story so farTHIS WILL BE DESTURBING! Chapter 4, A fat man's story, If two Warthogs collide does it make a sound, and my favorite, The quest for the left male nipple.Not in that order Three short chapters rolled in one.

Note I will have a "Thank you" to everyone that reviewed I can remember at the end. Disclaimer, Oh god it's long: I don't own MGS, KOTOR one or two, Halo one or two, The Resident evil series, Don't own any of the music that I mention or the types of cars I mention, NFSU, and I don't own the Lo-LI-Lu-Li-Lo. Not to mention the pen names I mentioned or Green day, or My Chemical Romance. Note have this stuff doesn't even show up in the chapter, enjoy.

Last time, Two new recruits enter the war torn battlefield know as Beaver Creak. The two new recruits, St. Timmy and Tayter are strange, very, very, very, strange. But who cares when the score is Yellow 15 to Green's 11 they are in a tight spot. The yellow team has lost its two MVPs along with the only semi-crazy characters and is full of insane to out-of-mind scotch drug using people. Master Beef got some cheese, SDD is taking a nap and some new person is coming to really screw with things. So on with the first part of this mega chapter, part one of part three of game one of match one of series one Yes I intend to make a second YVG When two warthogs collide does it make a sound? .

"Who the beep are you?" asked a confused Soul Brotha' with his dual SMGs.

"I'm Saint Timmy, you know from the Green Day song." A somlem St. Timmy explained.

"Well what are we going to do you guys?" asked the oddly named the closet is my home. Just then the really weird Tayter came and blew up T-bone with a Brute shot to the chin. Blood covered the area where T-bone was standing, was. Everyone looked over to the Scottish man and only one person laughed which was Saint Jimmy. Everyone else looked mad that was on the green side. The gunfire was now apparent to both teams and the first person to give up was Super size me. He walked up to soul Brotha' and stuck a plasma grenade to his back.

"What the bleep!" Soul Brotha' freaked out. A sorry was echoed through his butt

as it farted out the words, "Sorry Biach." And the grenade blew up and killed him. That now bring the came to 16Yellow to 10green and it doesn't look good for them and what is about to happen will shock and awe you. But more on that later now I will have fun with some friends.

In the both.

A long yawn followed by the sound of a kid taking off his helmet off and a quick stare around the room to find Master Beef playing is laptop. He sneaks behind his shoulder and Bugs Bunny style asked, "What's up dock?" Master beef spins around to find that SDD is holding a pump action Shotgun. Master Beef quotes a song, "Get back Mother F'er you don't know me like that!" But before he could pull the trigger he noticed something, "How did you kill that?" he asked. "I had Bastila and Jolee cast force lighting as your character used slow and death." Master Beef pointed out. SDD looks really pissed put decides to let it go. "You stay the ! away from my laptop from now on." He calls in a butler and has him bring in a Ps2 and a Xbox. Pick one cause I'm playing one of the two, so witch one? SDD asked without quotes. "I pick the Xbox because we have Xbox live in here right?" Master Beef asked. "We do put you only can play against old lady porn stars… weird huh?" SDD replied in an apologetic voice. "That's okay cause I have a butler that will supply me with cheese." Master Beef shrugged. "Fine I'll play GTA San Andreas." SDD told him with a half a smile. As they spent an hour playing the games finally Master Beef broke the silence besides the shouts at the TV some happy, some upset, "You know you look different then I thought you would." Master beef inquired. "Yhea, you don't look like I thought you would." SDD replied. "You haven't even seen me yet." Master Beef gave SDD a strange look. As they looked at each other two unexpected guest came to visit. The butler was all of a sudden grabbing at his own throat and fell over dead. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Master Beef freaked out, but then the door exploded and in came Alice the Revan and Dot.Hcker130 came in. "Why did I agree to help you again?" Dot.hacker130 asked with his head down. "You would help you get those credits back remember?" ATR reminded him. "Are you on KOTOR crack cause if I owed people credits I might be in the hood or in a dream." SDD asked. "AWWWWWWE your friend is cute without that armor on."ATR taunted. "But Sargent Johnson told me that ladies like armored plating, especially the one Master Chief wears?" Master Beef asked in a confused voice. "Well I'm suppose to be reading a book right now but I said screw it." SDD said proudly. "What did that have to do with our mysteries and problems?" asked a cryptic voice asked. "Oh no get that ladies creepy ass out of here right now." SDD shouted because he couldn't remember Kiear's name at that moment. KOTOR2 "I'll help." As ATR Alice the Revan Force lifted her and slammed Kiear against the wall and broke her back. "Sorry, new at this story world where I have force powers." ATR apologized. Dot.Hacker130 looks around for a moment and sees the laptop, "Is that a Alien Wear laptop?" "Damn straight." SDD proclaimed, but at that moment .Hacker130Witch I will call him for my fingers sake. leaped towards it and Master Beef prepared for the worst. "Stay off my mother loud explosion laptop before I kick your loud explosion." SDD yelled. "Sit Dik Dik." a girl that had a pet monkey told him and he fell face first, "if he ever gets rowdy and thinks he is super Dik Dik again tell me. And the girl left. .Hacker130 sat down playing with the mini computer on his head and earphones magically appeared and he listened to music the hole chapter.I didn't want to piss you off if you weren't already Ps you could probably kick my ass in a fight, just a thought. "Friends?" asked Master Beef. "Yes and the other one is a person that manages a C2 I am in and the other one is in a C2 I started for KOTOR." SDD said regaining his calm. "Did you say Kotex?" asked Master Beef. ATR used force bitch slap on Master Beef and he fell over on his back. "What the loud explosion was that for?" Asked Master Beef rubbing his face Yes, he took off his armor. "I thought you would be hotter but both of you are pretty ass ugly." ATR told MB and SDD. "Well before you leave will you make use of that piece of trash." He pointed to Kiear. ATR Lifted he, banged her against the walls by accident and instead of throwing her out the door she busted the glass that protected Master Beef and SDD from the battlefield and the old women flew out the window. Everyone looked at each other for a few seconds and then there was a loud explosion and SDD spoke up, "Oh louder explosion. END OF Part one. Who is the chick with the monkey, why does ATR kick so much ass, why does Master Beef care if chicks like him besides the fact he's cool, What are all the loud explosions from, what the hell happened is really a good stand point but the next part will be typed when I loud explosion feel like it…

Part two, A fat man's story.

Master Baiter held on the rim of the warthog as he was drug fifty feet but during that time he reflected on the end of the match, Yes final chapter here.

"Sorry Biach." Super Size Me's butt talked.

"When did your ass learn to talk?" Asked Leon.

"A long time ago." It replied.

"You talked earlier through your mouth." T-bone pointed out.

"Well I talked through a com link." It released.

"Well… I think you are beeping us." Soul Brotha' added really pissed.

"Oh sorry about that I have no control of what my body does." The butt farted.

"Now you are just sayin' a load of BS." Soul Brotha' punched Super Size me in the stomach and then kicked him in the man berries. The large Spartan fell over holding is nuts and fell over leaving a large crater in the center of the field.

"It is only fare that you give him time to explain what the hell is wrong with him," SDD said with a smile.

"Why would you want to know?" Farted the ass.

"I've got to write something funny," replied SDD. Just then in steeped Master Beef and ATR.

"Friends?" asked Master Baiter.

"Why yes." Chimed in Master Beef I just realized that Master Baiter can be abbreviated MB too-o.

"Who said we were friends?" asked SDD.

"I thought that was why you were broadcasting together?" Whimpered MB.

"I'm kidding," SDD told him, "I got a present!" SDD told him, hands a large meatball that talks to him.

"Where the hell am I?" it cried, "you're not putting me back with my master's left nut, no way no how." It cried. Master Beef snatched it up and left with it. More on that later.

"So what is wrong with you?" asked ATR bored of waiting.

"It started about the time the third Halo was found, I was sent to kick ass with out saying anything. See I'm a special agent trained in combat and stealth." It farted.

"At that weight?" asked a confused SDD.

No interruptions! It yelled. I was lighter than all of your collective asses. I was sent to fight the covenant butt to do it undetected. I spent eight years learning to kill quietly and to communicate through my mind, I was alone. During the war I was captured by rouge group called the Darkkk Diner of who was run by one of you here. I was fed through my mouth 24/7 by a tube that was filled with fast food. Ten days later I was fat and my brain had died. They found me useless without my brain so they fixed me and put my brain at my butt. I was then taught to fart my words and to eat through my bottom and poop out my mouth, sex was eliminated. Everyone flinches I then I realized that I could use my fart as a deadly weapon and killed them all and left. I hid on the streets until I saw the poster for this and decided that I am better off this way. I bought a COM link with the rest of my money and passed the training of your leader, Sir-dik-dik.

"What, I needed another person." Protested SDD.

"Man were F# where not the same." St Jimmy sang.

I'm not Okay I promise

Part 3 The quest for the male left nipple. The last chapter in YVG until YVG outtakes witch will hopefully be put up the same time this chapter is posted. The next story will be YVG; The quest… for the title sakes

As Master beef climbed the steps he held the meat wad closer to his body that his armor. He reached the top where. Hacker130 was sleeping; sleeping through this is pretty funny right? Well MB placed the meatball on the floor on looked at it. They looked at each other for awhile until Meatwad broke the silence.

"So… got any food?" it asked.

"Hold on," Master Beef went into the kitchen and returned with a pile of food and offered it to MW. Yes I'm pretty lazy. "so how did you get here?" Asked MB.

"I really don't have a clue… one minute watching Carl run naked after data cubes Love that episode. then I was transported to this place and I was given to you by a piece of explicitly deleted you call Sir-dik-dik." He complained.

"Why, what do you have against SDD?" Asked Master Beef.

"My master lost everything that is left on him." MW explained.

"Wait. What are you saying?" asked MB, "is he missing what's left of his body or are you saying he is missing everything that is left as in left ear, eye, hand so on.

"The second one." Answered Meatwad.

"So, you really aren't here cause SDD transported you here are you?" Asked MB

"No, my master asked me to help and in exchange you will all be rewarded greatly." Meatwad proclaimed.

"Oh really." Asked a curious Master Beef.

Dear master Beef, I could tell you like ATHF by your Email.

Before everybody was dragged down to the arena.

Everybody looked in shock at the dead corpse of Soul Brotha' on the ground, dead and lifeless like a corpse should be.

"Next person that moves gets a rocket to the chin!" Yelled an angry Gyra.

"But I'm on your team." Protested Leon and St. Jimmy in uncanny order.

"Not my team." Moaned an aggravated Gyra. In that time T-bone switched to a Beam Rifle and put a hole through Leon. Blood spat from his neck and he fell over dead. Tayter then decapitated see I know big words. The Closet is My Home. He felt around for his head, shrugged his shoulders and fell over dead. Tayter killed Super Size me with two gut blows with the Brute Shot. It looked like death for Soul Brotha' followed by Game! But where was Why Bother I'm Blind? In about a blink in of an eye the shrill sound of the Beam Rifle piercing four plates of armor saved Soul Brotha'. If you hadn't guessed by now WBIB was on the arch and picked off Leon, Master Baiter, St. Jimmy and Gyra. Smoldering holes all present in their armor distracted Soul Brotha' and let Tayter get away. After a few seconds of panic, he saw Tayter coming toward him in a cannon warthog with Gyra on the end. But the rest of the Green team responds near the warthog. Gyra was shot in the hands by WBIB by his Beam Rifle and he let go of the handles and was dragged by the feet. He did this all while being shot at by multiple types of weapons, but one Magnum shot missed and hit the fire button. The blast made contact wit Soul Brotha' and made him fly into the arch killing Why Bother I'm blind. This made the score 25 to 16, thus ending the game. Everybody stood there and looked at each other waiting to be transferred to the resting area but nothing happened.

"Hey, if we kill a Mother Fredo-lay are they dead for good?" asked an edited Soul Brotha'. Super Size me silently breaks Soul' Brotha's neck and that brings use to part two so I will skip to the future…

"Sir-dik-dik get over here!" commanded a chick with a monkey on her shoulder only know as Monkey Girl. SDD can't help but walk over there and listen. "there is a large bounty on that meatball you gave to that ass-hole Master Beef before I kick your sorry ass." She commanded.

"Aren't we in a particularly good mood?" SDD asked sarcastically. MB came down and announced to everyone the idea of going to get the body parts for a hefty price of course. Monkey Girl gave SDD the signal to get Meatwad but instead he told everybody they were going to get those body parts, but first they would go to Mercenary summer camp for people that can't read good. Zoolander joke They all nodded and would go to camp, this summer.

End of the crazy story and weird chapter.

Now for a shout-out to the people that make me write this crazy crap.

Tayter, Dude you violated code on by calling me by my first name, or at least shortened it so your first name is Taylor, kiss my ass. Thanks for letting me use your pen name as a character.

"Dude you kick first class butt." SDD at school.

Master Beef, I couldn't resist telling your weird obsession with Meatwad, if that is what it is. I will dedicate the first match of YVG2 to you cause it is at SideWinder. Note Please put me in your C2, that is all. PSSSSSSSSSS, don't yell at me for putting chapters in a long time, you haven't posted one in a while.

"CRACK KILLS!" Drug officer with too many cups of coffee.

Dothacker130, you rule.

"Kick assssssssss." Eric, South Park.

Alice the Revan, Yes you have force powers in this story and in the next one and I do not intend to finish EX23black cause I'm writing another Halo action story Second Gear in third rotation. Please read that too.

"May the force be with your Xbox." SDD trying to be Yoda.

Mr. Children, Sooooooooo you watch Xplay too?I hope

"Dik Dik." Adman Sesseler Xplay

Dog that peeded on the carpet, yes I was high when I wrote this, on what is a mystery.

I have no quote.

Dark Dragon lord, Yes this isn't funny, it's disturbing, but that is funny in a weird way.

I'm not okay, I promise, My Chemical Romance.

Dreamer16, Thank you, finally someone sane.

"I'm okay, trust me." My Chemical Romance.

NASA Trooper, thanks, that was a complement right?

That's it cats and kittens, till I get done the first chapter of a lot of stories, YVG Mercs. won't be out till later. Yes People mentioned are real and cool, so peace till later. Please review, G, only!.!

It took me form Dec 16 2004 to Feb 24 2005, jeez. If the grammar is bad, it is my editors fault cause he said he would edit my story that I wrote at two o'clock.


	5. Merc camp is just like high school, only...

Sir-dik-dik, is finally is writing a new chapter to YVG and it will finally put an end.

Now this Masterbeef person can finally stop bugging me.

So here it is the final chapter dedicated to one of my best friends that is in the hospital with a kidney infection, a severe one. Chapter five to YVG, Mercenary camp is just like high school, only much, much worse.

Everyone stared at Sir-dik-dik as their airplane landed on the ground and they walked out into a snowy mountain base where it was really cold. Everyone fell to the ground shivering.

"Jeez, you said it was going to be nice." ATR shivered.

"I didn't promise a cake walk, I also said it was going to be nice if you are an Eskimo." SDD shivered.

"Oh beep this." Soul Brotha tried to climb back into the plane but his armored legs froze.

"I already did." SDD snickered as he repeated his favorite joke.

"I think it's nice." Masterbeef stood on top of a rock.

"I thought you would hate it considering where you are from." SDD's teeth clicked together because he was NC where it is hot.

"Nice to see you bunch of babies aren't dead… yet." A tall Russian instructor pointed to a bunch of snowmobiles. Everyone else jumped for joy as they all ran toward them and jumped on. But there was no engine in there.

"You must be some silly Americans, In Russia snowmobile drive you." He smiled as he jumped on his and rode down to a gate. They all hitched onto a harness and started to pull them, except Super Size Me who ate it. Don't ask.

"That was a good meal." SSM rubbed his stomach.

"That can't be good for you." ATR looked in disgust.

"Trust me, this isn't as bad as the forty-two grams of heart attack that is a Big Mac." Masterbeef ate a piece of cheese.

"Big… Mac… God help me." Leon passed out and rolled down the hill luckily not being crushed to death.

"I really do hate you." Monkey Girl hit SDD in the shoulder.

"I thought you just got over hating me." SDD complained.

"No it's me that hates you." A little girl in chains spoke up but monkey Girl struck her down.

"That's okay, I hate you too." Monkey Girl then jumped on her and rode it down like a giant snowboard, but everyone else just ignored her.

"I have a plan." SDD spoke up, "oh wait that wasn't me."

"Man I swear when we get down there I'm going to kill you." Why Bother I'm Blind threatened SDD.

"Let's not resort to violence." T-bone cried.

"Yes guys, violence isn't fabulous." My Closet is My Home came out and jumped on the snowmobile in his bright pink armor but then got off. "That makes me feel to… straight." He said as he then got on again and ran down the hill.

"DotHacker 130, can you reprogram these things to work?" Masterbeef looked at him with a large computer on his arm.

"Sure there isn't anything I can't dot hack." He burped in the middle of the sentence. All the bikes started to work when Dot Hacker 130's blew up. There goes him.

"In the streets of shame where you wash your dreams in the rain, there's no signs of hope and it seems as the last of the dope." St Timmy busted out signing Green Day's Homecoming. Tayter took out a magnum and shot him in the head.

"Now you are dead." Tayter spoke normally.

"Your sane?" Masterbeef asked confused but then they arrived at the camp.

"So you guys are actually made it past task one." He spat choppy English. Then they walked into the training grounds. It was covered in snow and the sounds of guns filled the air as the lead Mercenary there awaited them, Jacob from Mercenaries, Playground of Destruction.

"I'll take the ones that don't suck first." He held a few hundred dollars he used to clean his nose.

"Um, sir they all suck, that's why they came." The Russian man explained.

"We can never have one easy assignment can we?" Jacob looked at the pathetic excuses for the Red and Blue team's replacements. So he went to a back office and handed out papers with ratings of themselves and special classes they had to go to.

Super Size Me got his and it read, Obese, he busted out crying.

SDD got his and it read, Smart-Ass, "Does that mean I pass? I mean if I have a smart ass think how smart I really am." SDD asked and everyone else snickered, especially Masterbeef. Then Mb got his, Mendez quote crazy, cheese lover. He looked at his and SDD and then they realized something, they both had the same classes. They were all sent to their rooms where they forced to listen to Russian music and TV witch wasn't bad cause they listened to System of a Down while they waited. Eventually they all passed out and at seven in the morning they got an odd wake up call.

"At seven o'clock, Russia wakes you up." And he left. Everyone left the room and then it happened the meatball took My closet is my home and changed his grade from Pansy to Governator, but other than that the morning was under whelming where SDD's breakfast tried to eat him.

"In Russia…" The man tried to finish but a random shot killed the chief. Everyone looked on in awe as the man fell over saying, "In Russia bullet kills you."

"Oh yhea you Russian bastard, America there are more dead bodies from bullet shots then Russia, I asked Jeeves." SDD looked proudly as the American anthem played in the background. The first bell rang telling everyone that I was time for the first class. We will now follow the weird day of SDD and Masterbeef in Merc camp.

First period was dodging bullet class, which was pretty much self-explanatory. When they walked in the first thing they noticed was the teacher was in a wheelchair, pushing with his hands while he held two SMG in his toes.

"Um, why are you in a chair?" Asked MB.

"Cause I beeping feel like it." You yelled.

"I guess you can swear in here? SDD asked.

"You bet your beeping beep pole you mother beeping can you chicken beeper." The instructor patted SDD on the back with his SMG.

"Alright class time to start doing stuff, like dodging bullets." He reloaded his gun with his hands as he began to hot people with his other gun, killing everyone but SDD and MB.

"If you dodge a bullet you can dodge a wrench." He threw one at MB's head hitting him.

"Ouch, that kind of hurt." Masterbeef rubbed his head. Then he whipped out the guns and ran a straight line down the wall witch both boys avoided.

"Jesus, they're really trying to kill me." SDD pulled out a flash grenade and threw it. It exploded and killed the teacher.

"How did I do that, it was just a flash grenade

The second period was one-on-one experience with a teacher and sense he was dead they rested for a few minutes, thinking about all the cash they were going to make.

Third period was SDD's worst class, driving the warthog. He got in his seat and looked around there was no one to stop him from jumping over that ramp of ghosts. Covenant not includedHe started up the motor and jumped three of them but hitting the fourth one blowing it up. The back end of the warthog was totaled but all of a sudden it turned into a transformer, "Get your but checked for prostate problems." He said as he spanked SDD. As I said earlier, weird.

Fourth period was a subject that SDD was good at, lunch. That was pretty normal but the food kept trying to eat him and more and more chiefs were killed so let's skip that and go to fifth period.

Fifth period was taking in captives in alive and how to keep them alive if they are dying. SDD's was simple, all he had to do was kill a dude that muttered Spanish and keep some whiney girl alive for five minutes. He couldn't help but look up her skirt, until a man called Mendez picked up SDD and began to choke him. "You are the one that made the Mendez quotes aren't you?" He threw him to the ground. "I now have to live like Hot Topic Barbie with eight jobs." Then he stormed away.

"You have the same damn quotes as us." Mendez shot SDD a friendly handshake in the air.

Masterbeef got stuck to the chick he supposable going to save, or that's at least he would tell.

Sixth period was maybe the weirdest class ever, Bug class. Not look at bugs in real life but find the glitches the programmers missed. The first thing they did was the walking on the head of a marine glitch. They all jumped on top of one of the marines and shot a rocket launcher and they didn't move an inch. Then they flew have way across the map with the flying glitch trick and then time ran out. Class was then over and the day was over, everyone met each other, everyone but My Closet is My Home. One of the instructors came running through the hall. Hello Stranger, I've got a important message for you, your friend is about to be killed by Mr. Double Chainsaw. They all ran to the door that had the word Water world labeled on it. They all busted in to find MCIMH hiding on top of a zip line.

"We should leave him there shouldn't we?" Masterbeef spoke up.

"We should." ATR agreed. Then mister double chainsaw this next line has intense gore so instead I put little kittens over it. Meoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. It then jumped towards our heroes or zeroes whatever you like them to be and tried to MEOOOOOOOW. But ATR used her improved force powers to make Mr. Double Chainsaw Meooooow.

SDD puked as he looked at the headless body but then Jacob came in and kicked them out for killing two instructors at the same time. It was amazing when he shot the teams over the hill they landed in Sidewinder. Cool, but now they needed three people per team to add up for the seven on seven match. So here's the draft results because 'm too lazy to rewrite the interviews.

Stranger, He went to the Yellow team. He is an insane animal-person that doesn't use guns but uses animals to kill people. He's in it to fix a "little" problem he has. He thinks that Joe Mama is ugly. Quote, I'll fill you with fuzzles bitch. He fears naked chickens and dogs.

Mr. Explosive, He likes to blow stuff up. He went to the yellow team that's all I'll talk about him.

Monkey Girl, A chick with a banana cannon and a temper that could malt anything, not to mention she's pretty hot. She has more then a dozen animals and she can dance. Quote. "Robert guess who Robert is you are such a idiot." She fears no one and serves no one.

Patches, A pirate that has a green back and he has only one eye from a tragic peg-leg accident. He has peg-legs but real feet. His armor is an untraditional pirate picture with two dog bones and a kitten flag on him. Quote, "It's funny, my mom was with the FBI and my dad was Dutch, no wonder I'm evil. I can't think of how many things scare him but the major thing is his invisible bird dying.

Farmboy, A little boy that uses more melee weapons then he does guns, watch out for his pitchfork of death. He has red and blue overall armor. Quote, "Yellow Vs Green is so funny it made me forget what I was going to say." Weakness, pigs.

Mendez, A really tall man with a fake eye. He has no armor and his quote is, You have the same blood as use." But I have found his weakness, me. MAHAWHA.

You better pick somewhere nice to broadcast next round or I'll leave. Okay next time I'll go to Zanzibar.

End of YVG, this time I'm for real.


End file.
